As I’m sure many others have done before, I’m slowly coming to terms with the loss of a site I’ve frequented for a little over six years. And as expected I’m showing the steps of loss. Sadness has come and gone and now it’s time to play the blame game. Of course we all know the reasons why 1up.com is shutting down, but that’s not stopping me in finding a few more scapegoats to throw under the bus.
Former President George W. Bush
Well we did “inherit” the mess he made over the last two terms. He’s been blamed for the economy and the two wars he started. Why not blame him for 1up.com’s closure as well, he’s pretty much to blame for everything these days…
President Barack Hussein Obama
1up.com doesn’t give us much HOPE for the future of other gaming related websites but I do have to say this is indeed a CHANGE for all of us gamers out there. And given all the changes he’s trying to do I would not be shocked if 1up.com was cut because it had the misfortune to be owned by News Corp for a time…
Global Warming
Who knows how much of a carbon foot print 1up.com’s data servers are leaving on the environment. Trying to keep the juice running to store, cool and keep the servers maintained must be taking their toll on the local area from which they are housed. We need to manage our resources better for more important sites like askmen, various porn sites and all those youtube videos about cats…
Sequestration
To date congress and the president have yet to come to a deal on MAJOR budget cuts that are supposed to lead us back into the stone age. Perhaps 1up.com was meant as the “sacrificial lamb” to help appease the budget gods to ensure that reason and common sense could make a glorious return in Washington, and a deal could be reached by Friday. So far it seems that hasn’t worked….
Gay Marriage
Okay I got nothing on this one but this one sounds like a good scapegoat to pin the blame on 1up.com’s closure. We’re still waiting for the fall of traditional values and the “Gay Marriage Armageddon” to begin as more and more states allow gay marriage. So far the world hasn’t ended yet and maybe 1up.com’s loss can be attributed to this…
Gun Control advocates
Video games have guns in them. People are against guns. 1up.com had yet to form an opinion on the matter so in the eyes of the government (and gun rights advocates) no opinion means 1up.com was for less gun control. So we better shut down that website before it becomes a bastion for pro-guns individuals who happen to play video games.
Pot legalized in Washington and Colorado
I can see it now! Two powerful people brainstorm at an undisclosed location: Those freaky deaky, anarchist, pot heads got that law passed in two states! The HORROR! What are we going to do? I know! Pot heads like playing video games right? Let’s get rid of one of their videogame websites and show them who’s boss! But which website? Oh I don’t know, let’s google "#1 videogame website" and see what pops up...
The Eurozone debt crisis
I’m sure there were some fancy, rich investors that put their money in sites like 1up.com. And I’m sure they also pulled their money out of the market once the debt crisis continued to stretch on month after month. Where do you think the money comes from for the big companies who own, run and maintain sites like these…
Chinese Hackers
It's now come to light that the lastest hacker attacks against the US have originated somewhere in China, presumed to be by the military. Well no duh! 1up.com has been fighting spam bloggers for years! Even now the site is being bombared by many spam blogs. I'm sure this is yet another tool in China's arsenal against America! Spam blogs are just the first assault and sadly 1up.com is the first casulaty in this new "cyber war".
President Barack Hussein Obama, again…
What? I’m a republican. I’m supposed to blame him for all the nation’s troubles right now. Also I’m supposed to call him a closet Muslim, a socialist, an imperialistic president and the enemy of gun owners and those of faith everywhere. Might as well blame him for shutting down a gaming website…
I think that covers the most (obvious) reasons as to why 1up.com is shutting down (besides the real reason of course). Let me know if I missed something.
Ta-ta
“N”
If 1up.com's gotta go, let it go out with a song!
Join me won't you in the countdown....to INSANITY!
LOL. And I still like you, even if you are one of them.
Your one of THEM?!?! that's no good, your suppose to be one of US so you can oppose one of THEM. Wait that doesn't sound right if I'm THEM then that means your US, but if your US how can I be one of THEM.
I'm confused now. Let's be friends!
This is glorious. Well done.
Thank you. Thought I'd try something different first before posting an introduction blog. Nice place here. Hope you don't mind if I check it out a bit...
I voted for Rocky Anderson, so don't blame me, I affected nothing! lol
I voted for Ron Paul so we're both in the same boat! can't blame me either 
I blame 1UP's closure on Commie Nazis and on the complete sexual immorality being taught in our public schools!
Bring back spanking!
Commie Nazis! they're the worst kind
The worst indeed!
those acursed commienazis! Their just as bad as thos nazi zombies! The same goes for what's being taught in schools and the lack of spanking!
Not learning the birds and the bees in school and spankings is what made me the man I am today!
Stop looking at me like that@!
capitalists that want to turn every game site into a store front/propoganda machine for new products, minimize competition and drown out dissenting views.
Wait, your telling me that's not suppose to happen..
oh....
I've never read anything so right about so many things before.
Really? I guess I do have my moments. I wonder how my application for Pope is coming along at the Vatican...
Yep, Milli Vanilli were definitely responsible for everything that is wrong in the entire world. LOL
The RAIN! Of course! And not just even the Rain, I could blame...
you forgot to blame the public school system! I mean c'mon everyone blames the public school system (<--is a product of the public school system). oh! then the private ones for being private and taking away from the public ones!
Yet anohter good one I missed. Me thinks I didn't cover all the bases as I thought I did. Must try harder next time I must!
Funny story: During the election, everytime I saw the Obama/Biden signs my mind would say Obama Bin Laden..... lol at least I laugh at it.
I think I noticed someone defacing those signs when I was living out east for a time. They went as far as putting blue masking tape over Biden to put Bin Laden in white lettering. Wish I snapped a picture when I saw that.
You forgot to blame the NRA and extreme conservatism. Seems to be the thing to do these days lol.
lets not forget the hipsters and the occpy people too! oh and the zealously christian, and atheists! and pretty much every other religion because they said it was "good/bad" and "right/wrong!"
Forgot the flip side of the coin there. those extreme conserative have been giving us moderate conseratives a real bad name. Perfect for scapegoating...
I blame Ziff Davis. I mean literally, the guy pulled the plug. Still, I'm disappoined noone mentioned the Spanish Inquisition!
The Inquistion, what a show
The Inquistion, here we go
We know you're wishing
That we'd go away
But the Inquistion's here and it's here to stay
The Inquistion, oh boy
The Inquistion, what a joy
The Inquistion, oy oy
-Mel Brooks
Those were the days! The inquisition singing musicals!
I suspected them at first, but figured EVERYONE expects them by now that they're so much profiled I might actually be wrong about them this go around....
You're really taking 1up's closure hard. The site was doomed as early as January 7, 2009, maybe earlier. Just be happy you got 4+ years out of it. Now you can post blogs on a functioning site.
If Jeremy cared so much, he would have fixed the site out of his own pocket. I'm sure he could have afforded it.
eh, tbh, from my understanding of the avg salary that those guys made, I doubt it! besides it wasn't his place, just going off and doing the right thing in a corporation can still get you fired (big corp's are ass backwards I know).
I think he and the others did the best they could within the limits they were given. Its sad to see it go, but really I think they tried there best! My hope is to see a new "1up" some day when things are better in the industry.
Thumpp claims he was making 6 figures. Of course, he also likes weed.
At the very least, the site should have recognized a spell checker. That was my only major problem with 1up.
I think there are thousands of more terrible things out there than smoking weed. lol. Also, when did Thumpp bring up he smoked weed? Lastly, maybe he was being sarcastic about making six figures. Sadly, "satire" can be difficult to interpret online sometimes.
NGR Thug Mansion
I'm with the others on how some written satires can be lost in translation, it's why I'm not sure on posting my "speech from a virtual reality sociopath" on here yet.
I know it's just a website, and a website that's been going downhill for awhle. But I still enjoyed my time there and the people I met. Just hate to see it go. But like they say all good things must come to an end. I'll get over it eventually. Probably when the site really goes offline will I finally start moving on. Diehard to the last!
LOL, Thanks for the laugh.
thank you mothman. I'll be here all week! good to see you on here!
For me, i think 1up didn't go main stream when all the websites did (going to youtube making videos and so on) they just kept doing the same thing over and over, which made it go under the radar with time.
Yeah, I could never get their videos to play most of the time. I think I would've been more into the site if there were some videos. I never was much of a fan of podcasts, not that there's anything wrong with them. Just oddly I never got into them.
I kinda enjoyed the same old same ol though, I felt comfortable with that. Even if I never ventured into the forums and mostly read the features and news items of the day.
Funny article! Love your reasoning behind the cause of the closure of 1Up.
To me the current event situations seemed the most obvious. Hope I didn't miss anything.
