Unless I am mistaken, Fixed Gear from Lakefront is a red ale and it is damn tasty.  It was a little hoppier than I expected the first time I had it, but damn good.

This was my first red ale and I was certainly blown away by the hoppiness. 

That description of wine plus maple syrup does sound good to me, actually. Depends if we're talking white, red, dry, or sweet wine, though. I'm guessing dry red based on the review. I'm ok with that. I prefer wine to beer in most cases, honestly. You're getting me even more excited about going to Grimaldi's tonight. Hell, honey pumpernickle and pineapple cranberry sound fairly appealing to me too, at least the honey and pineapple part. 

Aaand you dislike it, and it does not contain maple smell or flavor. Well, damn.

I have a request for you though, if you haven't gotten to it already. My parents bought some Rahr's & Sons Ugly Pug Black Lager recently, and while I think it just has a typical beer taste, I'm seeing a lot of four star reviews for either the beer or the Rahr's & Sons Brewing Company in Fort Worth, TX factory that it comes from. Beeradvocate.com has an overall rating of 82 for it, which is good by their standards, apparently. It seems to get pretty mixed reactions when looking at actual reviews, though. 

It's a Schwarzbier style beer with 4% ABV according to beeradvocate.com. If you can find some, I'd love to see you do a review of it. 

Usually I love Anchor Products but this was a bit too tanic. Again I'm not a big wine drinker so if you really enjoy wine this would be more your cup of tea. However, I couldn't detect any maple so that certainly disappointed me as well.

I'll try to track down some Rahr's & Sons Ugly Pug Black Lager sounds very ineresting but it sounds like it's a regional brew. If i can't find it perhaps if you were interested in doing some beer trades. Lots of you Tubers do them and it gives you chance to try beers that are not distributed in your respective region.