6. Final Fantasy XIII
The game is pretty, and has an AMAZING soundtrack. That's all I can say good about it. Oh, and the cutscenes are pretty neat, but it's a Final Fantasy game. You knew that going in.
The game is relentlessly linear, to the point where half the time you're simply walking up a corridor as wide as your body and waiting until the next cutscene. Seriously, Final Fantasy XIII is more entertaining to watch on youtube than it is to play. Well, it would be if the plot wasn't utter shit and there was a single likeable character in the entire game.
So yeah, not only is it the worst game in the series, it's one of the worst games Square Enix has ever published, and they publish some utter shit. Like Chrono Trigger, which is the worst game ever made by anyone ever.
P.S. The above statement is totally true and completely without jest. Fuck you and your childhood.
5. Oddworld: Munch's Oddysee
Speaking of vicious attacks on the childhood: Munch's Oddysee. Playing the Oddworld games are some of my fondest gaming memories as a child. I mean, YOU COULD POSSESS YOUR OWN FARTS! What kid wouldn't love that game? Of course, it was creepy as fuck, had an extremely dark sense of humour, was – and still is – an aesthetic masterpiece, and I've yet to play anything even remotely similar in terms of themes, humour, or gameplay. Again, YOU COULD POSSESS YOUR OWN FARTS! AND PEOPLE!
The problem with Munch's Oddysee isn't that it's a bad game, because it's not. If it had nothing to do with the Oddworld series, I'd probably say it was well written, gorgeous – well, for an Xbox game. I mean, just go back and play Halo and see how shit it is – I mean plays – LOOKS! Although fuck Halo, and again, your childhood.
The problem is that apart from the humour and world, it just isn't as unique as the other Oddworld games. It plays like a par the course Xbox era 3D platformer. The puzzles are easy. There is no threat. In the original game, a single enemy was terrifying. The music creeped you out, and if you fucked up once you were dead. One hit. Boom. Here, you have a health bar. Hear, enemies are wiped out extremely easy. There is no tension. There is no stealth. There is no quick thinking. No tense getaways. Worst of all, NO POSSESSION OF FARTS! Everything that made the series fresh and unique is absent in this game, and it's damn disappointing as a result.
Also, the biggest disappointment of them all though? They sold out to Microsoft. Abe was basically a PS1 mascot, and now he was only on the Xbox? It's bullshit.
The original games are still amazing though, and hold up as one of the few games on the PS1 that actually hold up, unlike Final Fantasy VII. That's not fair. Final Fantasy VII was always shit.
BOOM! Might want to call up The Allied Forces because yo' childhood just got holocausted BEEYATCH!
I was also very dissapointed with Munch's Oddysee, and my dissapointment was even worse because I had been waiting to play it for years. The original Oddworld game was one of the two games that made me buy a playstation (the other being Tony Hawk). I never bought an X-Box, and besides KOTOR the only thing that ever made me regret that decision was that the Oddworld series continued on the X-Box instead of on the playstation.When it (and Stranger's Wrath) finally became available on the PSN last year I eagerly bought them, but was dissapointed with both. I still played through and finished Stranger's Wrath, but after several levels I just kind of stopped playing Munch's Oddysee and sort of forgot about it. Like you said, it wasn't that it was a bad game. It was just kind of boring.
I've yet to play Stranger's Wrath. I'll need to remedy this soon.
I remember thinking Odysse looked great on XBOX. Never played it much. Childhood intact.
Damn, the last joke didn't work because I suck at roman numerals. It's ffvii not xii. Final Fantasy 7, not 12. God I'm an idiot sometimes.
Jokes worked, I chuckled, but my childhood has nothing to do with any game you mentioned.
I actually had fun with the Munch episode. Yes it wasn't like the original 2 but I enjoyed playing it. I bought the HD version on PSN and played it again last year. FF XIII well, that's a different story.
I've tried multiple times to play it but never got very far before becoming bored and tired. Aside from the linear nature of the game, the fact that they stopped you from gaining experience and skills at a certain point in each chapter. That was annoying as hell.
I liked Munch's bits, but hated Abe's. In all honesty, they'd have been better just not including Abe.
I actually finished FFXIII. I'd just been fired from my job and I'd broken up with my girlfriend, so I had nothing else to do really. I pretty much caught up to a generation of gaming in a couple of months, as there was no point looking for a job as I'd be going to college in like 3 months.
It looks as though I have been lucking out. So far I have only played two of the 7 games on your list.
There's only five games on this list, unless you count th joke entries, and there were three in this article which would make 8... I'm confused...
I count seven, because... Borderlands 2, Bioshock Infinite, God of War 2 & 3, Arkham City, FF XIII, and Munch's Oddysee. Maybe I skimmed over some very important detail. So, now I am super confused.
Oh yeah. Well... I really do suck at maths :p
I think the only reason I would play FF XIII is for curiosity. With everything that has been said, I just want to play the game just to see what I make of it. That, and I actually think the battle system looks cool from the videos I had seen.
I'm very sure you're trolling about Chrono Trigger :P
Google the first game's story and jump into the second part of XIII if you want to experience it. The first game has a 20 hour tutorial that is the most linear and boring thing you'll ever play. The second one opens up from the get go, it's more fun and there's more exploration.
I haven't played Chrono Trigger :p. I was also joking about Halo and FFVII.
HA! 13 would be higher on my list, It's rare that a game pisses me off but I think the fan reaction made it worse for me 
PS. right back at'cha with the Chrono Remark 
It's fitting you talk about FF 13 since Lightning Returns comes out today. Somehow I managed to squeeze some kind of microscopic amount of enjoyment out of 13, but 13-2 was an utter abomination. After that I swore I'd never play another modern FF game ever again.
Yeah I saw that after I wrote the blog lol. And really? I thought 2 was a lot better than the original.
Well, the ending pissed me off immensely. I've seen better endings on NES games. I'm amazed I managed to get to that point though. I didn't give a crap about either character, stopped caring about the "plot" halfway through the game, I could tolerate the battle system in 13, but it felt all too familiar... blah, blah, blah. There's lots of reasons why I hated it.
I only played for a little bit. I just found the gameplay. And yeah, I forgot they made the real ending DLC. Fuck those guys!
I love your lists!!! The only Oddworld game I have played was Stangers Wrath. That was an awesome game just as a game. I don't know anything about the series but it was pretty sweet. And FF has taken a deep plunge into suck. I have a PS2 and I bought FFX for it and I am looking forward to it but this Xlll series just sucks from what I have heard.
Thanks man! Stranger's Wrath is the only one I haven't played lol.
IMO there are only 2 FF games you need to play: 6 and 9. I could make a joke about those numbers, but I'm a classy motherfucker so I won't.
Haha Yea I have heard so much about 6 so I have to give it a spin. That might be the rpg I start to scratch my itch. I have never heard anything about 9, I'll look into that too.
Only cool thing about Lightning is she has pink hair.
Hey, it takes skill to be that unlikeable!
FFXIII bashing is always Greenman approved. I liked Munch's Odyssey when I played it on Xbox, but there's a reason I haven't played the free downloadable copy PS+ gave: I don't want to hurt my nostalgia.
You know it was Abe's birthday yesterday. Abe Lincoln that is. You think he could possess his own farts? You betcha.
