In light of recent events, we here, at PixlBit, have revised our review policy, and have implemented a bidding feature to allow our readers, video game PR firms, as well as any other interested party to buy and control review content! Are you an aspiring voice actor, one who wants a rave review to use as a reference for future work? For just $20, we'll add a snippet lauding your character's voice work. Want to add a half star or full star to our overall rating? $30 for the first half star, but just $15 for all half-stars after that! Want us to alter our review's content? For just $50, we'll exchange out the content you don't like for content you've written, and for $100, we'll even tidy things up and make it appear as though your paid changes appear to be entirely our opinions!
But don't stop there! We'll also help you lower the apparent quality of a competitor! Competitive PR firms will be able to lower review scores and alter the content of the reviews of similar titles for the same prices above: $30 for the first half star, $15 for each additional half, and $50 to exchange written content or $100 to have us write it for you. In the event we receive requests to alter our content both to make a game appear better or to make it appear worse, we'll start a 24-hour private auction, where bids placed must be higher than our default pricing tiers, and allow the two parties to negotiate our review with their wallets.
"I believe this change represents a new era for PixlBit," says the site's director, Nick DiMola, "Our idea, to allow people to pay for whatever they want to read, is going to be a sure-fire hit!"
The pay-per-review policy begins today, April 1st, and will continue on for an indefinite amount of time. Email fixyourscore AT pixlbit DOT com for more details and to negotiate the changes you'd like to see made.
I have to say this is great, revolutionary news. I can't recall seeing anyone go public about paid-off reviews, so I really think we're the first to corner the market. This just means PR companies won't have to pay for weekend getaways and massive events, and can just put their money toward a better review. It'll save everyone in the process quite a bit of time, and I'm certain readers will love our new, altered content.
At least Nick's gonna finally get paid--I hear Chessa's expensive to keep around.
We're truly a bastion of integrity. The getaways were nice, but Ubisoft is still a little pissed about Red Steel 2. This really lowers the prices for them, so they'll still "endorse" the site and we can all put that review behind us.
Can I pre-order five stars for The Conduit 2? Any pre-order bonuses like a sweet wall scroll?
You should probably email either Nick or I, but a pre-order over a month in advance guarantees that no one will be able to out-bid you.
It should be noted we're not adverse to posting reviews far in advance, either.
Sounds totally fair. I think this new change will bring about some great content.
I think a funnier joke would have been "Fanboy vision" reviews. These are reviews that have two versions: the first version is the honest, editor review where nothing is held back and the opinion is raw. The second version is the "Fanboy Vision" version where the reader sees what he or she WANTS to read. So, if they want to see a stellar Red Steel 2 review, they just turn the filter on and presto! The review is glowing and magnificent!
It was a last minute thing, and as far as I can tell, PixlBit's engine could only support one review per game. I actually did want to create a second Red Steel 2 review, but I didn't want to mess up our real one, so for this year, it was out of the question.